Expectations
One major source of suffering is the letdown caused by expectations that aren't met. Here’s why you should better manage them.
A good way to set yourself up for disappointment is by having great expectations for future outcomes. Expectations are what you think will happen, and having too many of them that are too high creates a disparity with reality.
The more what you want is out of alignment with what you get, the more disappointed and discontented you become. Managing expectations means being mindful of your inability to predict (a) what will happen in the future and (b) what will make you happy in the future.
Expecting something to happen will not automatically make it happen. And even if what you expect materializes, it may not necessarily make you as happy as you believed it would.
Don't mistake this for lowering your standards. It is perfectly normal to have desires that you work to fulfill. But don't pin all of your hopes for happiness on the future. Enjoying the journey is a healthy way to manage expectations.
When you derive happiness from the present — especially simple, attainable pleasures — you'll experience less discontent if the future doesn't turn out as planned. If it turns out as or better than expected, it will feel like a fabulous bonus.
Resources
Ideas
Everything you can't have (Collab Fund)
When success isn't satisfying (Wall Street Journal)
We have hedonism all wrong (Quartz)
Articles
What is Stoicism? (Viveura)
How to be happy (Viveura)
Why you should celebrate life (Viveura)
Images
Books
Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman
According to esteemed psychologist and bestselling author Martin Seligman, happiness is not the result of good genes or luck. Real, lasting happiness comes from focusing on one's personal strengths rather than weaknesses--and working with them to improve all aspects of one's life.
A Guide to the Good Life by William Irvine
One of the great fears many of us face is that despite all our effort and striving, we will discover at the end that we have wasted our life. Irvine curates the wisdom of Stoic philosophy, one of the most popular and successful schools of thought in ancient Rome, and shows how its insight and advice are still remarkably applicable to modern lives.
Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed
For more than a decade, thousands of people have sought advice from Dear Sugar — the pseudonym of bestselling author Cheryl Strayed — through her online advice column. Tiny Beautiful Things collects the best of Dear Sugar in one volume, bringing her wisdom to many more readers.
Quotes
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for. — Epicurus
In the quest for bigger and better, it's easy to forget to celebrate life and what you've already achieved and acquired. While fixated on the future, don't forget how far you've come from the past. — Viveura
Unless one is able to live fully in the present, the future is a hoax. There is no point whatsoever in making plans for a future which you will never be able to enjoy. When your plans mature, you will still be living for some other future beyond. You will never be able to sit back with full contentment and say, "now, I've arrived." Your entire education has deprived you of this capacity because it was preparing you for the future, instead of showing you how to be alive now. — Alan Watts
