Become a Lady of Leisure
Source: Pinterest
A lady of leisure is often imagined as an idle woman drifting through her days without purpose. But I’ve come to embrace a far more inspiring interpretation: an intentional life shaped by the quiet art of living well.
Several years ago, I stepped into my windowless corporate office—awash in artificial light and stagnant air—and handed in my resignation. Only the night before, I had decided to take an indefinite sabbatical with my then-partner, a German diplomat who also took leave from his post at the UN, and slip away to Europe for a time.
I had no formal plan, yet I accepted the personal, professional, and financial risks of leaving my job, my home, my network, and my country. What guided me was a taste for adventure and, more profoundly, a desire for freedom. I wanted to live life on my own terms.
As a respected senior leader at a multi-billion-dollar luxury brand, I couldn’t simply walk out. I had to orchestrate an orderly transition. This entailed speaking with several of the top executives who were understandably intrigued by my choice to step away from a promising career path.
One of them, with more curiosity than tact, remarked rather than asked, “So what are you going to do—become a lady of leisure?” I knew he meant no harm, yet the implication still stung. I couldn’t help but zero in on the reductive, dismissive tone embedded in the phrase.
Start Thriving Now
Introducing The Parlor, an exclusive repository of 100+ personal growth, self-care, and luxury living resources to help you thrive.
My path to leisure
For someone as driven and capable as I was, how could anyone imagine I would simply sit still? Yes, I planned to wander through Europe, but I also intended to use that time to explore creative pursuits and experiment with entrepreneurial ideas. I wasn’t an heiress, nor was my partner underwriting my life. And I certainly wasn’t going to drift across the continent and return with nothing to show for it.
What I didn’t realize then—before I had a deeper understanding of psychology—was that my sharp reaction to his comment had touched something buried within my own shadow. In hindsight, I can see that my resistance to the idea of living a life of leisure was precisely because I wanted it, though I didn’t yet feel it was appropriate to admit that to myself, much less to others.
From childhood, my ambitions had been shaped by a determination to rise beyond the limits of the circumstances I was born into. I was not going to be defined by my environment. I would outwork, outstudy, and outperform every expectation to attend the best schools, earn prestigious roles, and create a life beyond anything I had seen growing up. But at a certain point, the definition of what was “best” for me began to shift.
After achieving so much, I no longer needed to prove that I was more than a nondescript girl from a low-income neighborhood. I had demonstrated—repeatedly—that I could excel: the top student, the high-performing employee, the one who always delivered. Having mastered the rules, I was finally ready to release them.
I ultimately spent seven years abroad. During that time, I launched several ventures—some successful, some failed experiments that still taught me a lot. No matter where I was in the world, I always had a project underway. I fought hard not to become a “lady of leisure,” even though, by many accounts, my life was charmed and enviable. My travels stretched far beyond Europe, leading me to luminous corners of Asia and Africa. And I worked my way through each one.
I worked while sipping Vinho Verde in the wine country of Lisbon, and between hikes through the Picos de Europa in Northern Spain. I worked my way across Tuscany—between Bradi Toscanis in Chianciano Terme and leisurely meals at Osteria del Merlo in Cetona. I opened my laptop after a spa day at Les Bains and before strolling the Jardin Majorelle in Marrakech. I worked on the windswept coast of Essaouira, and after negotiating with rug vendors in Imlil, a quiet village in the cool Atlas Mountains.
I spent a full month working in South Africa. There were pockets of time carved between afternoon tea at Mount Nelson in Cape Town, luxury safaris at Cheetah Ridge, and long lunches under the trees at Vergelegen Wine Estate in Somerset West. I even squeezed in a bit of work before Christmas Eve drinks with family and friends in the Park Hyatt Lounge in Saigon.
How I embraced leisure
I didn’t believe I deserved a five-star life, so I created work to justify it. Then everything shifted at once: within a month I ended my relationship, sold one of my businesses, paused the other projects, and moved back to the United States in the middle of a global pandemic. The abrupt personal and collective upheaval left me stunned, with no plan for what should come next. The only thing I knew with absolute clarity—I was not going to work at all.
It is interesting how upheaval often forces us to acknowledge the truths we avoid about our authentic selves. For an entire year, I did absolutely nothing that could be described as “hard work.” I treated the pandemic as permission to finally become a lady of leisure. And in that silent season, I devoted my time to what I loved most: reading, writing, and nurturing my aesthetic and philosophical interests.
As the world reopened, I considered relaunching old ventures or creating new ones. I even entertained conversations with brands seeking a capable, driven leader. But I found myself at a crossroads. Do I stay within my own Garden of Eden and focus on sustaining this small paradise? Or do I bite into the metaphorical forbidden fruit and return to a world primarily driven by the pursuit of money, status, and power?
Viveura emerged from that question. It became my way of exploring pleasure, leisure, and the art of living well. As an amateur philosopher, I developed a theory about the universal desires that shape our lives: freedom, fulfillment, and fortune. Most people concentrate on just one, unaware that true self-actualization comes from the delicate balance of all three.
The philosophy of leisure
In the tarot, the Queen of Pentacles is the archetype that most embodies my vision of a lady of leisure. She is confident, discerning, sensible, and successful. She manifests prosperity with ease, yet her approach to abundance differs from the more forceful energies represented by other court and trump cards.
She is often portrayed seated in a lush garden, serene and fully at home in her surroundings. Yet she is no idler. The beauty around her is self-created—born of her own skill and acuity. She has designed her soft life with intention. At her highest expression, she is self-made, but unlike many celebrated examples of worldly success, this Queen knows how to balance discipline with delight.
Astrologically, she aligns closely with Taurus—my sun sign—the regal ruler of Earth and its worldly pleasures. Taurus indulges in rest, comfort, nature, and sensual experience, while ironically possessing one of the strongest work ethics in the entire zodiac. Taurus works diligently when needed, but always with the understanding that work is in service of the good life, not the other way around.
When the Queen of Pentacles appears reversed, she represents the lower expression of the archetype: insecurity, misalignment, and distraction. She begins to look beyond her own garden—envying others, doubting herself, questioning whether her desires are acceptable or ambitious enough. She becomes tempted by the pace and noise of the world outside her sanctuary, and once she leaves her enchanted estate, she loses her ease, her magic, and her distinctive style of manifestation.
What is alluring about the “real world” is the illusion of control. Beyond my garden, I slip into the more forceful side of my Taurus nature. As the raging bull, I push and pursue, moving obstacles through sheer will. I identify what I want and charge toward it with determination. It is capable, productive energy—but outside my garden, I strive.
Inside my garden, I live differently. I remain present. I choose being over doing, even if I have to forgo lucrative opportunities. I trust my ability to attract rather than exhaust myself to attain. I balance head with heart and materiality with spirituality, and in that equilibrium create a self-sustaining oasis that offers everything I need. As a lady of leisure, my power turns inward—expressed through self-mastery. And in that space, I thrive.
Become a lady of leisure
Traditionally, a lady of leisure refers to someone who does not need to work for her livelihood and is free to shape her days around pleasure, rest, and personal pursuits. The role has historically implied financial independence or the security of being supported by another.
On the surface, it may feel like an outdated concept. Contemporary culture often prizes productivity, ambition, and contribution—values that apply across genders. A life devoted primarily to leisure can seem, to some, misaligned with modern ideals of purpose and achievement. Yet the rise of the “soft life” trend signals a shift. Many are reconsidering the idea not as idleness, but as intentional living: choosing ease over toil.
If you are drawn to this path, let your pursuit of leisure be grounded in an understanding of what matters most to you. That clarity becomes the foundation upon which you can create your idyllic life. I’ve gathered a set of resources to help you craft your own definition of leisure and explore what this lifestyle could look like for you.
The Parlor Membership: An exclusive digital salon for deeper reflection, refined conversation, and ideas that nurture a life of elegance, ease, and intentionality.
The Luxury Course: A guided experience that helps you design a more spacious, artful, and self-authored way of living—rooted in clarity, discernment, and personal sovereignty.
Curated resources on leisure
As the ancient patron of pleasure, the philosophy of Epicurus, as distilled in The Art of Happiness, is a comprehensive source of wisdom on how to live well.
If you don't know how to do nothing, journalist Celeste Headlee's bestselling book will teach you how to be easy.
Departures is an exceptional travel and lifestyle magazine with a wealth of ideas on elevated living. Though designed as an exclusive resource for American Express platinum and centurion cardholders, there are many public articles available.
If you find it difficult to relax and get into a serene state, How to Breathe by Ashley Neese offers a practical guide on breathwork and its benefits.
Read The Idler's Manual for a brief but idea rich guide on how to live a leisurely lifestyle.
“What cats can teach us about how to live” analyzes the behaviors and mannerisms of domestic felines to provide tips on how to live easy. Cat lovers and introverts will especially appreciate this article.
"Romanticize Your Life" is the trendy phrase that calls for indulging in simple pleasures. Explore why it's worth hopping on the bandwagon.
The Underachiever's Manifesto: The Guide to Accomplishing Little and Feeling Great is a quirky self-help guide about how to unapologetically do nothing.
Derived from the most popular recreational substance, CBD is quickly becoming a go-to for alleviating anxiety and has promising research to back up its claims. Though research is inconclusive, it's worth investigating its potential anti-stress benefits.
Taking time to cook is a relatively easy leisure activity. Sunday Suppers is a beautiful cookbook with simple recipes that will help you rediscover the art of making meals at home.
You can't experience the benefits of leisure if you can't carve out time for it. Make Time for "Me Time", published in the Harvard Business Review, offers actionable tips on how to focus on yourself.
The Urgent Case for Sabbaticals by Time discusses the idea of working non-stop for decades without a break and why that is absurd.
About Viveura
Viveura is a cultural and philosophical publication offering thoughtful perspectives and aesthetic inspiration on the art of living well. If our work resonates, we invite you to support its continuation.
Our ideas exist outside ad-driven media cycles and are not optimized for virality or volume. Rather than relying on algorithms, Viveura is sustained through relationships with the readers, patrons, and partners who believe in our mission.
The Archive is the primary home and intellectual core of our publication. There you’ll discover a repository of evergreen essays and definitive guides on luxury, beauty, society, identity, and prosperity.
The Parlor is our digital salon and social destination hosted on Substack. Upgrade or become a patron to unlock a deeper layer behind our articles via exclusive syllabi, curated resources, guided prompts, and bonus workbooks.
The Course is an immersive study on how to elevate your life. Enroll to access a comprehensive curriculum that helps you design a conscious luxury lifestyle tailored to your distinct tastes and personal preferences.
